i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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