they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
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