we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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