dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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