Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
