I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
