like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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