Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
