I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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