you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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