I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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