dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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