It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I believe in your delicious
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
