Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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