She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Randomize
