I wannas sexs uuuuu
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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