Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize