I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
