I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
