You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
