How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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