Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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