we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
