Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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