no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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