apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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