I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
