turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize