Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
