My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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