did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
