I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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