i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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