Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
