just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
