He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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