i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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