When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
