I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
