Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
