Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize