I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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