# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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