Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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