When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
