I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
