FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
