Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
