I CAN MOONWALK!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
