Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm gonna fight the coyote
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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