Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
