We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
