I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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