will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
