FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
