We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize