we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
