come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize