I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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