Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
