i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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