Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
