The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
