I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize