I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
