Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
