she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize