We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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