At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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