Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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