That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
