Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
