I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
