Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize