Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
