The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
