ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
