i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Hippo gnu deer
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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